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Dilemma:  You are in love with your current girlfriend but she refuses to have
sex with you before marriage

Solution:  Unless you are just head over heels in love with this person, you need
to either have a discreet relationship which can fill the void in your life, or you
need to simply move on - this just isn't the right person for you.

Dilemma:  You've been with someone for many years and are now having
feelings toward someone else like you've never felt before.

Solution:  You need to be up front with the new person  after all you definitely
do not want to be entangled in two long term emotionally driven relationships.  
Have set times to call and see this other person.  It's best not to invite them to
your home to engage in physical relations and do not let the affair interfere
with your current sex life as that may be a red flag!